You are preparing breakfast for your 5 year old daughter as she is getting ready for her school. While your husband is leaving for his office you see a news flashing on TV. ‘Maj Ryan Singh killed in a fierce battle against the terrorists in Kupwara district in J&K’ .
You leave whatever you are doing..and Increase the volume of the TV. Your angel is crying for her tiffin but her cries are falling on dead ears..you are deaf and dumb for the moment ..all you see is that NAME flashing on the news. ’Maj.Ryan Singh ‘. You change the channel just thinking and praying that somehow the name you hear is not him. But invain. Every news channel is following the same news. Some news channel have even reached Majors battalion..they are discussing with Majors friends about his personality. how he feared no one. how brave and courageous he was. how much he loved his country. Some even share the photos of the young Maj. while they were on a bike trip to ladakh. The Smart and dashing officer posing stunningly awesome poses. The one with the Major with the Indian Flag at a hill top. Somehow the News Channel get a Letter from one of the boxes from his barracks. It is a letter dated 8 years back..when the Major was just commissioned as a young Lt. after stepping onto the Antim Pag on the Chetwode building at the Indian Military Academy, Dehradun.
My 2nd Love
I hope this finds you in the best of spirits and health. More than a year and a half has passed since I last heard from you..I still remember that cold and cosy winter evening when we were sitting in the park gazing at the full lit moon throwing its illuminance on your beautiful face making you look even more prettier. I was trying to hold your hands and you were pulling it back towards you..The very Next day I had to leave for my Military Training at IMA to be later commissioned as an Officer and serve my First Love..my Motherland..my Beautiful INDIA. And as always..you were acting childish..telling me to choose between you and Army. You knew my ANSWER but i couldnt utter it this time..How could I have left to the academy with last glimpses of my angel crying. I couldnt!! I wasnt that brave a soldier yet..I wasnt even a Soldier then.
With a Promise to return soon and marry you I left for the academy. Through the whole journey it was nothing but YOU in my mind..with your small stupid talks..the dreams we had together..the dream of a great future together..roaming in my mind I travelled to dehradun. The more closer I was moving towards my destination the more was I accusing myself for leaving you.
The days at the academy started tough with strenuous training aimed at breaking all our notions and beliefs about our ability and capability. We were doing things which we never imagined our body was even capable of. We were made to push our boundaries only to find that theres no boundary at all. The pattie parades and the front rolls..became a regular affair at the Academy. Every thing was going fine till I last visited my home during the summer term breaks.I was very excited to meet you after a 6 month rigorous training and share with you all the fun I had at the academy and how much i missed you. I tried to contact you but all your contact numbers were out of Service. With a hope to get in touch with you once i reach home I boarded a bus and arrived at Ambala.
After a long and hearty welcome at home by Papa,Mummy & Choti. I again tried calling you on your numbers, when choti came to me and told me about you being engaged to .and your wedding scheduled the next month..I was dead!! I couldnt believe my ears..My vocal chords were chocked as i rested myself on the sofa..That was the time I had experienced real fear..the fear of losing you. for ever. I was dumbstruck. With my eyes staring at the ceiling fan..I could feel as if the fan blades were cutting my neck. The best memories of my life were with you and all that were rolling infront of my eyes. I held back my tears. 3 weeks passed by and as I was leaving back to IMA for my next term I told choti to wish you a happy married life from my side as well as I wasnt a Soldier yet. Nonethless that brave to face you. As the training at the academy resumed I couldnt concentrate well initially but gradually over some days I remembered the promise I had made to myself to come out of the academy as the best cadet of the batch. I began putting my best efforts in whatever I did. Every other day I had minor injuries with my buddies at the academy getting a chance to give me a name Marij(Patient) GC .
I was hurt but not physically..Neither did they knew nor did i wanted them to. After a series of setbacks and failures my hardwork and training paid me with me grabbing of the Sword of Honor today. After the marvellous Passing out Parade with my fellow coursemates who turned into the Son of the Soils of the Mother India from a Civilian Life, I could see the sense of Pride papa, maa and choti had at that moment. Everything was just Amazing..the only thing that I missed in my life at this time was YOU.
I have no remorse and no hard feelings for you, Cause it would not have been possible for me to push my boundaries and get rid of all the fears I had in my mind if you would have not left me. Earlier I had fear as to what would happen to you if I sacrifice my life in the heart of a battle serving my mother India. How would you handle it ? You couldnt..Now that you are into safe hands..the fear has submerged. Now I fear no one. Yes I do miss you. I miss you a lot. And yes I do love you. Love you a Lot. Thanks for giving me the best times of my Life.
Lt. Ryan Singh
The letter was addressed to Mrs
Your 5 year old is pulling you and says..Mummy..I want to be an Army Officer in Life. With your eyes still wet you assure her, hug her tightly and let the tears flow..
A work of fiction by Deepak Singh Rathore